Many years ago, I saw a family friend that I had not seen since I was a kid. I said hello and I saw in her eyes that she did not recognize me. I was puzzled, maybe even a bit insulted. After all that time our families spent together, how could she forget me so easily?

I later learned she was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, which made her reaction understandable. Through no fault of her own, she had forgotten who I was.

I realize now that when she did not recognize me, I focused on the wrong thing. I should have asked myself what she might be going through and whether there was anything I could do to help.

When someone behaves in a way that surprises or upsets you, do you judge them harshly or wonder what they might be going through?