If you find yourself in a similar pattern of relationships, part of the problem might be you and not them.

I have few old friends with whom I keep in touch. Not a single friend from high school or before. For many of them, I can’t even remember when we drifted apart or why. In a few cases, we had a falling-out from which we never recovered.

I had close friends in college, but only one that I still speak to or see regularly. Some friendships suffered when a friend or I moved away. Time zones became a big issue with a West Coast friend when I moved to London. An 8-hour difference made it hard to speak regularly, but was that just an excuse?

Some friendships sprang up from shared interests. I had friends from snowboarding, volleyball, sailing, CrossFit and handstands. After I stopped doing these things, most of the friendships withered away. Admittedly, some ended due to conflict.

Growing apart from some people is natural, but I feel like I had more than my fair share of falling-outs. I wonder how much of this was caused by me. Was I not a good listener, too selfish, overly critical, more knowing than curious?

I have grown out of some of these flaws, still working on others. When you look at your relationship challenges, how much of it is you?