If you put on your sneakers to go for a walk and immediately feel a rock under your foot, it seems likely that you would immediately take your shoe off, dump the rock out and start again. If you leave it in there, it will likely provoke some level of annoyance over the course of your walk and, at worst, it might even cause some major issues.

Long ago, at the beginning of my relationship with Jim, I clearly remember him telling me something like this: “If there’s something I do that annoys you or something that really bothers you… just tell me now, because if you let it go and years from now you bring it up, I’m not going to be able to change it and won’t understand why it annoys you.”

I am grateful that Jim was wise beyond his years way back then. Things don’t fester, we don’t harbor grudges and issues get addressed immediately. I see other relationships that have not been approached in this way. The end result appears to include resentment from cumulative misunderstandings or unresolved issues.

If we all removed the rocks underfoot in our relationships as soon as we noticed them, how much better off would we be?