When people I care about are going through difficult times, I often feel a bit helpless and unsure of what to do. What do I say when there seem to be no right words? How can I help when I don’t have a way to fix their pain?
I am an inherent “fixer”… if someone has a problem, I want to help find the solution. Unfortunately, many things are not within my ability to solve.
Years ago, when my Dad suddenly passed away, Jim was in Ireland on a business trip. One of my closest friends came up to be with me. I remember her telling me: “I don’t think you should be alone tonight. I’m going to come over.” She lived over an hour away and had a one month old baby at home but dropped everything just to come up and spend the night at my house.
I don’t remember anything else she said to me that night. There were no words to take away my pain; there was nothing she could do to make me whole or fix my loss. But, the fact that she was there as moral support meant so much to me that it still brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes all we need is someone to be by our side, share our pain and show their support.
How do you support your loved ones when there are no words?
Sometimes I send a card, or make a phone call and I always wish I could just drop everything and go. But sometimes I think the best thing is to give them confidence that they can handle it.
Sometimes the best I can do is offer my support.