Honesty is one of my core values. Recently I was reminded that something can be true and unhelpful. Sometimes silence or curiosity is better than the truth.

Trish was watching a training video and the presenter mentioned something about a study that showed lifestyle and diet caused cancer. I mentioned that it’s unlikely that the study showed a causal relationship, it was correlation the study showed. This triggered a heated discussion that I had not intended. I believed the training was good and the presenter was making good suggestions around lifestyle. Apparently this wasn’t apparent considering my comment.

After we cleared up the misunderstanding and I admitted my comment was true and not helpful, I started laughing. Trish wondered why and I told her it reminded me of something I read in a book recently. One character was delivering some tough news that just kept getting worse and he pulled no punches. The other person’s response, “Your words are like an axe!”

Luckily it’s just a metaphor and my words didn’t do real damage. Still, instead of passing judgment with a knowing mindset, I should have used a learning mindset and asked how the presenter reached his conclusion. We might have had a good discussion without the unnecessary heat.

When has an unhelpful truth led you into trouble?

PS – I highly recommend The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man’s Fear by Patrick Rothfuss. He’s raised the bar for what I expect in fantasy fiction.