You can control how you feel

Written by Jim Chaput
After a 19-year career in financial services, Jim left a leadership position to focus on health and fitness. Jim is a Master Practitioner of Applied Movement Neurology and holds Certificates in Applied Functional Science and 3DMAPS from the Gray Institute. His passion is empowering people to help resolve the pain, tension and insomnia that prevents them from living well.

“The only Zen you will find at the top of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.”
– Robert M. Pirsig

With our sometimes divisive culture, glut of social media trolls and frenetic pace of life, it can be challenging to maintain a positive attitude and outlook.

Take heart, and know that only you control your emotions. You might think someone frustrates you, but it is you that allow yourself to be frustrated by them. The same is true of things like computers. Can your computer frustrate you or do you choose to get frustrated by your computer?

Like many things, to know this is easier than to live it, but it is worth the effort to take control. First learn to recognize your trigger. This empowers you to pause and reflect. When you pause and reflect, you have the opportunity to decide how you respond.

If you pause and reflect, but still struggle to overcome negative emotions, the best antidotes are gratitude and empathy.

  • Gratitude – Stop and feel how blessed you are to have such great family and friends, good health, a job, etc. No matter how tough life gets, there is always something for which we can feel truly grateful.
  • Empathy – As hard as it might be, stop and think about what unmet need the other person has that leads them to act in a way that upsets you. Maybe what they are going through is so bad that they do not even realize how they are treating others.

How much happier will you be when you eliminate unnecessary anger and frustration?

2 Comments

  1. Duncs

    My frustrations generally end up back at me… which so far is an improvement … I am in my circle of influence … I guess when I meditate I give myself some sort of the empathy within those moments of non judgemental awareness.

    • Jim Chaput

      In addition to your empathy, use your reflection time to increase your awareness of your triggers so you can head off the frustration before it builds. As always, enjoy the journey while you explore what is possible.